


Song-Fic; I would like to visit you for a while

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-13
Updated: 2008-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-13 00:39:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a year apart House and Wilson meet at a conference.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song-Fic; I would like to visit you for a while

  
I would like to visit you for a while  
Get away and out of this city  
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break

 

I don’t know why I’m calling him, he probably already knows I’m attending the conference, and even if he doesn’t it’s not like me to give warnings. I guess I’m hoping he’ll be more willing to talk if he’s not surprised. I ignore the voice that suggests I just want to hear his voice; it’s been a year, I’ve moved on, found new people to mooch off of and mock and manipulate.

He tells me Cuddy already e-mailed him along with every other speaker. It figures; a few doctors refuse to speak because they’re worried about ‘interrogations’ during question-time, and now she feels the need to let everyone know before I show up. If they can’t stand the heat, they should live in fridges. I refuse to be glad he’s talking to me, it’s just Wilson courtesy, and after couple of brief sentences we say our goodbyes and hang up. I am not glad; it means nothing. Why the hell am I smiling?

We can go sit on your back porch  
Relax  
Talk about anything  
It don't matter  
I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me

 

There’s nothing I can do to control the incredibly premature happiness that floods me after the conference when he slips into step beside me. We walk for a long time, not saying a word to each other. We walk through the streets. I float on a cloud of joy, it’s pathetic but there’s a peacefulness I haven’t felt in so long. We walk through a park, and we sit very close on a bench; I feel like I’m breathing for the first time in months. I have to enjoy the air while I can, soon he’ll be gone again. Then for some reason we stroll through a shopping mall. The joy is quickly sliding into despair as I realise every minute that goes by is a minute less that I have left with him.

Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

 

Amber changed him. Amber dying changed him more. Leaving changed him. Everything in the past year has changed him irrevocably. I know that. It isn’t until we start speaking that I realise just how much. A part of me is saddened, but the larger part of me doesn’t care. He’s still here, he has still survived, and that’s what matters. We talk about nothing, effortlessly avoiding unwanted conversations.

  


  
Springtime in the city  
Always such relief from the winter freeze  
The snow was more lonely than cold  
If you know what I mean  
Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop  
Keep that chin up, you'll be all right  
Can you believe what a year it's been  
Are you still the same?  
Has your opinion changed?  
'Cause I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from these sentences  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

 

  
Neither of us wants to risk _the_ conversation, we’re just happy where we are. But maybe if we started talking, this wouldn’t be just a one-time thing, maybe we could get together again. But that’s unlikely and not worth the risk, I’ll enjoy the crisp air while I can, I don’t want to be banished back to the cold suffocating loneliness any sooner than necessary. We’ve begun to walk back to the hotel I’m staying in and I take in deep breaths, awaiting the loneliness’ return.

  


I know I let you down  
Again and again  
I know I never really treated you right  
I've paid the price  
I'm still paying for it every day

 

  
Besides I deserve to be alone, not because of Amber; that was a series of unfortunate events; and one hell of a proverbial straw. The list of things I’ve done wrong stretches along the horizon and across the field of stars. But neither of us has ever really cared for star-gazing. And our friendship had worked well, until it didn’t. 

 

  
So maybe I shouldn't have called  
Was it too soon to tell?  
Oh what the hell  
It doesn't really matter  
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?  
Has your opinion changed?

 

  
It may not have worked on a level anyone could understand, but it did work. It was something indefinable, there were no labels we subscribed to, we just were. The thing is when a friendship like that breaks, it can’t be fixed like your everyday cliché shallow you’re-here-and-it’s-convenient friendships. Which is why I know that even though this is great, nothing’s changed so if I asked if we can do this again, he’ll say no.

 

Soon we’re standing in front of the door to my room. I look into his eyes swallowing the warmth that sits there. It feels oddly like I’m a death-row inmate eating his last meal. I suppose I might as well ask now; I’ve got nothing to lose (apart from my dignity, hurt of rejection, risk of total humiliation). I open my mouth anyway and will the words out.

 

“Come home with me?”

  


Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

 

“Ok.” He says smiling.

  


I see your face  
I see your face

  



End file.
